The most important part of life, and the only part of life that we can truly control is our perception. We may have influence over other parts of our life, but the only thing we have 100% control over is how we choose to perceive the events of our lives.
What I’ve learned in my many years of surviving in this world; full of challenges, pain and let downs is that you may have been victimized in the past, but who you ARE is not a victim. You are not broken. But, maybe there’s some work to do on yourself.
You can be victimized… it happens every day. And the key is to be aware of that, understand it and slowly but surely turn your victimization into a victory. It can happen in time and with support but not all at once.
Be patient, treat yourself with kindness and compassion but dig deep, find your power and courage and do the work!
And please know that no matter what happened “to” you – it wasn’t your fault. You do not need to blame yourself. Bring it to your awareness and do everything you can to forgive yourself and anyone involved. It’s the only way.
Of course this is a different process when it involves serious harm you’ve endured either emotionally or physically. I don’t mean to make light of anyone that has gone through any serious trauma.
For those of us who were not victims of serious abuse, it’s easy to play the victim and a lot of people out there will try to convince you that it’s easier to blame other people for the circumstances of your life. One of the reasons it’s easy to be a victim is because you give away the responsibility of the outcome and circumstances of your life to some other person or situation.
As a victim, we tell ourselves that it’s not our fault; it’s the Government’s fault, or our significant other’s fault, or our friend’s fault or our parents’ fault. If you really get creative, you can imagine a whole range of people to blame for your life. It’s human, we all do it.
Here is the honest truth…YOU are the one making the choices in your life. YOU have the free will and ability to choose to be happy and fulfilled in all the areas of your life. YOU get to decide how you feel about everything that happens to you.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably made a mistake or two in your life (or dozens!). For a long time it was easy to blame people for the outcome. When things didn’t go the way I wanted them too I would just make it someone else’s fault. What a cop out!
But, I started to learn differently. With the help of many friends, my coaches, lots and lots of books, seminars, courses and workshops, I began to take accountability for my actions and started to look inside before I looked outside myself for things that made me happy or sad.
I began to learn how to take my power back. I began to see that the way we thrive is by making our inner world stronger than the outer world. This realization for me created a huge shift in my life. I began to feel less angry, lonely, hopeless and sad all the time! I was good at faking it and on the outside and it looked like I was loving life. On the inside I was feeling so sorry for myself all the time! And that made me very unhappy.
The key is to remember that we have a choice and if we realize that this is the truth, it can begin to create the most powerful shifts in our lives as we regain control instead of being a victim to the people and the world around us.
You can begin to take your power back from people, groups and anything else that says you are powerless. You are already powerful but you have to choose to be in your power and to step up.
It took me some time to learn to take and assume responsibility for my life. Once I did, everything changed. I was happier, the small things didn’t irritate me and I began to make courageous decisions and I am now finally seeing my dreams coming true!
I also realized that I had control over my emotional eating and stopped eating junk food in my bed every night watching Netflix! I sleep better at night and my relationships in every area of my life have improved. I’m a better Mom, friend, colleague, entrepreneur and best of all I’m beginning to like myself a little more! I have learned to stop believing and giving power to that annoying little critical voice in my head that always told me that I wasn’t good enough. I’m not perfect and never intend to be but I’m loving the journey!
Things may have happened in your past that you have no control over. However, what you do have control over is how you respond to those events. Do you want to let those people or events get the best of you, or do you want to rise to the occasion, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and say, “I got this!”?
You may not have been able to control what happened in the past, but you have 100% control over what you choose to believe and as a result where you go from here.
I am here to help in any way I can!
Call or email me with questions. I love hearing from you! 905-933-6880 – firstname.lastname@example.org
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